A Teletubby History
by j. alfred
Summary: A story about the kings that the Teletubby had, and how they overthrew them. This is pretty ridiculous and badly written stuff, so I'd be surprised if anybody actually read it let alone review it . M for bad language.


**Ah, I'm not sure why I wrote this in the first place....**

**This is an excerpt from the made up book _A Historie of Teletubbie-Land__._**

**I do not believe such a book exists, but maybe I should write it, and it will exist!!!**

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**CHAPTER 5: THE RAINBOW REVOLUTION **

Rainbow Kings were the official royalty of Teletubby land. They had supreme power, including choosing which beer was to be drunk.

Teletubby land reached its ultimate greatness under the rule of the Rainbow King Cameron, who, as fat as he was, turned out to be a brilliant ruler for the independent and violent Teletubbies.

Cameron died when he was 76, and his death caused much distress in the land. For seven months, no one could decide who to coronate, for Cameron had no heirs.

***A brief account of the overthrowing of the Rainbow Kings***

'Twas a fine day in Teletubby land when the Microphone announced that a new Rainbow King was chosen.

"YES! Finally, us Teletubbies have a king!"shrieked Tinky Winky, clearly happy.

But then, a new announcement from the Microphone silenced him. "OUR NEW RAINBOW KING REQUESTS THAT WE DRINK RAINIER BEER TO CELEBRATE HIS COMING TO THE THRONE!"boomed the Microphone.

"_What? But the old Rainbow King Cameron made us drink BUD LIGHT!" _Po shouted furiously. "Are we going to let this new idiot change our Bud Light ways?"

"We definitely could..."Dipsy murmured, then jumped in shock as someting appeared on his TV.

Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La-La, and Po looked in wonder at Dipsy's stomach, where a man on a motorcycle was riding towards a sunset, backed by mountains. Suddenly, they heard a sound coming from the motorcycle in the TV. "_RAAAAAAAAAAAINIIIIIIIIEEER BEEEEEEEEEEEEER._"

"Is that what happens to us when we drink Rainier Beer?"asked Dipsy.

"What a disgusting thing!"Po exclaimed. "We will not stand up to this! I will kill that new Rainbow King!"

"Well..."

Po stormed away from the rest of the Teletubbies, saying "I'll show that son of a bitch! How dare he make us drink that _shit_!"

*Some months later...*

The Rainbow King was in his throne room, sipping Rainier Beer. "My life would be _perfect _if only I had Megan Fox!"

The next moment flying Teletubbies burst in through the windows.

"_FUCK YOU RAINBOW KING!!!"_ chanted the Teletubbies as Po pointed a gun at The Rainbow King's throat.

"No, no! Don't kill me, please,_ please, _I beg you!" shouted The Rainbow King.

"Too late, darling," cooed Po, and drew trigger of his pistol.

"The world will lose its hottest man today,"whispered The Rainbow King, and fell to the ground with his eyes closed, never to be opened again by his will.

*****

Over the course of the next 7 months, the four main Teletubbies wrecked Teletubby land. Po declared himself the Rainbow King and had many children from many female Teletubbies, Tinky Winky became a bartender of a bar called Cross of Valour, and did not allow Rainier Beer to be drunk. Dipsy and La-La became fashion models, and later, Po banned them for acting too much like the last Rainbow King, and so the two of them came to the Earth and started the show "Teletubbies", which had no obvious relation to the lives of the real Teletubbies.

The exiled two did their best to survive on Earth, but they could not, for the powers of another exiled person, Dora the Explorer, were growing too strong. La-La commited suicide, and Dipsy took a Barbie doll and did his best to make it look like La-La, and succeded.

Alas, the Mexican American Dora was too much for the poor British Teletubby.

In the year 2034, Dora invaded the world, and killed the poor Dipsy, who had become anorexic in his later years. Dipsy's last words were "At least I saw the world's hottest man...and his overthrowing.... At least I witnessed the Rainbow Revolution."

The term Rainbow Revolution was first officially used by the historian Cxallet Spooniar, and now is the common term for this event in history.

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**SO THERE YOU HAVE IT! A telling of something in Teletubby history!**

**Don't you love the cussing Po? It's so cute! (I'm joking).**

**(Rainier Beer commercial: /watch?v=iz-WuLQz_ns)**

**Also, please review?**


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